The bond that cannot be broken

Sixth Sunday of Easter

John 14:15-21

Many years ago now, my primary work was as a home care hospice chaplain in New York City. It was a great privilege to attend to the stories of people’s lives as they were nearing their end – to help to celebrate the good, process the challenging, and to find meaning through it all.

One of the impressions that struck me again and again through that work was how many of us have a desire to leave behind a legacy; to impart final lessons, and really, to leave behind a way of connecting to the whole of who we were and who we continue to be once the earthly body passes away.

Of course, this desire is not limited to physical death. Many times, it seems, when we are passing from one phase of our lives to another - when we move, change jobs, retire, when significant relationships end, a similar desire arises. In these times of transition, it seems only natural to turn our thoughts to our legacy – to how we wish to hold the whole of our experience and how we wish others to hold this whole, and how we wish to continue a through-line of presence.

This week, we mark the Sixth Sunday of Easter. Ascension Day comes on Thursday (or, more commonly celebrated next Sunday) and then Pentecost. So there is a real sense of preparation here. Jesus is imparting his final lessons, his legacy, to his disciples, and of course to us.

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever.”

Admittedly, these words are open to many different understandings.

One of the ways that these words landed earlier in my life and spiritual journey was hearing Jesus say something like – if you do the right thing, if you obey the rules, then God will take care of you. Which of course implies that if (or when) I didn’t do the right thing, when I didn’t follow the rules that were laid before me, that I would be left outside of the care – of Jesus, of God. And the Holy Spirit might not come for me.

And I know that I am not alone here.

I think of one of the hospice patients that I cared for long ago – a man who left an incredible legacy in the opera world as a voice coach. His work touched many, many lives. And yet, toward the end of his life, he held shame and regret that he had not honored the “rules” set by his parents. And because of this, he could not rest.

This is not uncommon. And again, it’s not limited to physical death, but could apply equally to many of the smaller deaths of our lives.

However, I have come to see this passage in a much different way – a way that is deeply connected to what I’ve been reflecting on over the past many weeks – of connecting our small I am to the Great I am – connecting our individual lives in time to the whole of life. Because really, what Jesus is offering here about “keeping [his] commandments” has so little to do with “following the rules.” It’s more about allowing ourselves to be continually formed by his overall teaching. Seen from this perspective, we might think of this passage more like this:

If you are deeply connected to who I am and what I have been teaching, then the Source from which I have come will be with you. And you can connect with this Spirit that can lead you with each and every breath.”

Let us pause and take this in…

If we can really allow this connection – from our individual lives in time to the whole of life that is timeless, then this connection can lead us, guide us, provide companionship throughout our days.

And, at this level, this connection of small self to great self becomes less and less about us and more and more about bringing life to the whole of creation – starting with those whose lives we touch on a daily basis.

Again, we can pause and consider – what might this teaching be inviting us to? What might be the legacy that we want to leave in the world? What might be getting in the way?

The truth is, just like Jesus, we will all come to face endings in our lives – throughout our lives and at the end of our days. And in the final measure, it is love that we have to offer – this bond that can never be broken, this bond that is available with each and every breath.